A room full of people exchanging thoughts and ideas can be either an extrovert’s dream or an introvert’s challenge. However, “Skip the Small Talk Dinner” events are changing the dynamics by encouraging participants to bypass superficial exchanges in favor of more profound conversations. The concept involves using thought-provoking question cards to foster deeper connections among attendees.
Founded by Ashley Kirsner, Skip the Small Talk hosts both in-person events in major cities across the United States and Europe and virtual events accessible from anywhere. The format is reminiscent of speed dating but focuses on forming friendships rather than romantic connections. Caitlyn Jones, a community leader and Skip the Small Talk host in New York, explains that the events cater to various needs: newcomers to the city, individuals in transitional life stages, or those seeking meaningful dialogue during challenging times.
Participants are paired for 10-minute conversations, guided by a series of prompts designed to encourage them to discuss significant personal topics. This approach helps participants engage in more meaningful exchanges than typical small talk.
In recent years, younger generations have struggled with initiating and navigating conversations, including in professional settings. According to The Wall Street Journal, schools and companies are now offering classes to teach conversational skills, such as small talk.
Alison Wood Brooks, O’Brien Associate Professor of Business Administration at Harvard Business School, has observed this trend among her students. “Most of my students deeply dread small talk and will do anything to avoid it,” Brooks said. Her course addresses how to manage challenging interactions, including job interviews and high-stakes meetings.
Brooks attributes the decline in face-to-face communication skills partly to the rise of social media and technology. She notes that while technology facilitates staying connected, it often does not require engaging in direct conversations. “The landscape today for young people is not giving them as many opportunities to interact face-to-face, and therefore they’re not getting as much practice,” Brooks explained.
While small talk remains a necessary social skill, Brooks suggests that the issue lies in over-relying on it. “Nobody wants to talk about the weather for 10 minutes, but everyone needs to talk about it as a starting point,” she said.
For individuals like Joshua Vargas, a 27-year-old from New Jersey, participating in “Skip the Small Talk” events has been a valuable experience. “It’s almost like it serves as a lubricant to make conversations flow better,” Vargas noted. He found that the events helped him develop flexibility in his conversational skills and understand others’ perspectives more deeply.
While small talk cannot be entirely avoided, events like “Skip the Small Talk” offer opportunities for participants to engage in more meaningful discussions, ultimately enhancing their social skills and relationships.